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Trudy Richardson
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The Price of the Trip
By Trudy Richardson
Chrissie Wainwright a mere 17, last year buried her feelings. She just didn?t care anymore, in her world there was nothing left to care about. May of last year she had a baby. He was stillborn. Chrissie remember the happiness she experienced, the day the doctor told her she was pregnant. She wanted that baby. All of her life she?d yearned for someone who would love her, who would be hers, she wanted someone who wouldn?t leave her, and now the one thing she had yearned for the most was gone. Even Tyrell the father of her baby wasn?t around anymore. He never really was happy about the baby. At first, he denied being the father. The truth of the matter was that Tyrell was never good for Chrissie. He was a thug a small time hustler. He stayed around for a while, but in Chrissie?s six month, she and Tyrell had a huge fight. She remembered the fight like it was yesterday. Chrissie found out from her friend BB that Tyrell was seeing another girl. The day she showed up to confront him, her belly stuck out past her knees. During the first five minutes of their conversation, Tyrell denied it.
?Chrissie what the hell are you talking about??
It? was 7:00 in the morning when Chrissie showed up at Tyrell apartment. He?d probably just climbed in bed two hours ago. He was half-asleep, as Chrissie screamed at him about cheating on her. Tyrell denied it. They argued some more. Chrissie called Tyrell a punk. He called her a bitch. She didn?t remember doing it, but she picked up a knife, and swung it at him.
?Bitch you better get away from me with that knife,? Tyrell roared, ?before I shove it down your throat.?
?Go to hell Tyrell. Chrissie screamed. You said you loved me and that I was the only girl you wanted and needed. You promise to help with the baby.? Chrissie screamed repeatedly. She was angry?disappointed that her dream for a family was falling apart.
?Well things change Chrissie; Tyrell said, without an ounce of feeling. He was bitter and cold. Its true Shana?s my girl now. And I don?t want your pregnant ass no more. So you need to get up out of here. Holler at me when the baby comes. I?ll make sure you get some Benjamin?s. I got enough bank to take care of the baby, but I don?t plan on giving you shit. Here take this?, Tyrell said as he shoved sixty dollars, into Chrissie?s her hand that ought to hold you over for a few days. Now get the hell out of my house. My mother is on her way home, and you know she don?t like you scanky ass.?
?So that?s how it?s going to be Tyrell? Chrissie said as she swallowed her tears. If Shana?s what you want, then I?m out of here for good, and by the way, keep your Benjamin?s. I?ll take care of my baby you never wanted it anyway. Have a great life Tyrell, and this baby and I will be fine without you.?
Chrissie started to throw the money, Tyrell threw at her back, but decided against it, and eventually she?d need every dime she could get for the baby. Chrissie slammed the door shut and walked two blocks, before she shred a tear. ?Why,? she cried was she always alone. Why didn?t anyone love her?? Her mother Margo Wainwright walked out on her when she was two years old. Her father big Jack, blamed Chrissie, for Margo?s leaving. Big Jack wasn?t much of a father; he loved his booze more than he loved his daughter, most of the time he ignored her. He didn?t even seem to notice that she was pregnant and if he did, he never said a word about it.
The following month, Chrissie now seven months pregnant faced with more issues. Mrs. Clark her guidance counselor reported Chrissie constant absences to truancy, who reported her actions to social services. Social Services sent a caseworker to Chrissie?s home. Mrs. Dotson the caseworker took one look at the dingy apartment, Big Jacks drunken state, and Chrissie protruding belly and removed her from the home of Big Jack Wainwright. Chrissie?s father didn?t seem to notice or care. He never said a word as Mrs. Dotson explained that all it would take for Big Jack to get his daughter back was for him to go into rehab, and clean up the apartment and prove to the agency that he had a job. Big Jack didn?t even flinch, he poured himself another drink, and he turned to Chrissie.
?Have a good life girl; Big Jack said to his daughter?. I hope you do more with your life than I did with mine.?
Mrs. Dotson placed Chrissie in a home for pregnant girls. Chrissie liked living at the home and planning for her future. In the last few weeks, she?d seen Tyrell on several occasions and he?d tried to get back with, her but she spurned him. Chrissie didn?t want Tyrell in her life. The day she walked out of his apartment, she made a promise to her self, she?d shed no more tears over Tyrell Baker.
The night she went into labor Chrissie was excited she couldn?t wait to her hold her baby, she didn?t care if it where a girl or a boy her last tear over him. Mrs. Kendall, the housemother at the Carriage house, the home for pregnant girls, took Chrissie to the hospital and she stayed with her during the labor and delivery process. Chrissie had heard that having a baby was painful, but the pain, intense, long, and hard, had Chrissie convinced that she was going to die. The pain medication was a joke, it dulled the sharpness, but it still hurt. When it came time to push, Chrissie screamed, she felt like her insides where being ripped apart. Mrs. Baker tried to calm Chrissie down, but she couldn?t. In the middle of her fifth push the baby?s heart rate dropped.
?Chrissie the baby is in distress. Doctor, Nash said calmly. ?Don?t worry, I?m going to perform an emergency C-Section, bear with me Chrissie; I will do everything I can to save your baby.?
?Please, Dr .Nash, Chrissie cried, please help my baby.? Doctor Nash did everything she could to revive Chrissie baby boy, but the baby was still born at birth.
The pain of her baby?s death was too great for Chrissie to bear, she felt life had stolen from her the one thing she wanted the most. The next day she wished her life were over the pain of it was greater than her will to bury it. There were days when she couldn?t seem to catch her breath. After the death of her baby, Chrissie was so angry that she caused fights in every foster home she lived in. In the past twelve months, Chrissie lived in eight different foster homes.
Three weeks ago Mrs. Dotson the social worker, moved Chrissie in with the Randall?s. Mr. and Mrs. Randall was nice people. Since the death of her son, Mrs. Randall was the first person grownup that talked to Chrissie. Mrs. Randall didn?t put a sugar coating over life pains, she told it how it was, ?life,? Mrs. Randall would often say ? life is not always fair, remember that Chrissie, and if you remember that when disappointments come along you won?t feel so blue.
A week ago, Chrissie came in from school. ?Chrissie is that you??
?Yes, mam it me, Chrissie said as she sat her school books on the small table in the foyer.?
?Come join me in the kitchen, Mrs. Randall ushered. I am making chocolate chip cookies.?
Chocolate chip cookies were Chrissie favorites. Chrissie sat at the round kitchen table; she picked up a cookie straight out of the oven. The cookie was hot but she enjoyed the taste of warm chocolate oozing over her tongue. Mrs. Randall stood at the oven she was pulling out one cookie sheet and putting in another.
?Chrissie, I think it?s time you and I have a heart to heart.?
?Yes mam Chrissie,? said as she directed her attention to Mrs. Randall.
?Chrissie I spoke to Mrs. Dotson about you. She let me read your file. I know all about the pain and suffering you?ve been through in such a short lifetime. I understand perfectly the pain of losing a child. Years ago, I had a baby too, his name was Sam, and Sam like your little man was born dead. It?s a hard thing to live with Chrissie I know. I was all grownup; I was 28-years-old, way older than you were. I can?t imagine what it must be like for you, you being just 17 and all. But I pushed that pain so far down inside of me until I couldn?t feel a thing anymore. I almost lost Lawrence, but he loves me and he has the patience of job. Lawrence waited for me to go through my season of mourning. And in all of this all I am saying Chrissie is that Mr. Lawrence and I will wait for you to go through yours. I like you Chrissie, you are a nice girl, and you can stay with Mr. Lawrence and me as long as you like.?
?Mrs. Randall, Chrissie cried why didn?t you have anymore children??
?I couldn?t there were complications and the doctor said, he was sorry but I would be barren.?
?I?m sorry Mrs. Randall.?
?I know you are baby now eat your cookies.?
That conversation took place eight months ago, Chrissie would graduate school in another month she was at the top of her class, and in the fall, she?d attend the local college. Her counselor Mr. Watson helped her get a full scholarship. Mrs. Randall and Lawrence whom Chrissie now called mom and dad were so proud of her, and then something happened that help Chrissie deal with the loss of her baby.
A few days back, Tuesday it was, Mrs. Dotson Chrissie caseworker called the Randall?s. Mrs. Dotson had a young girl that needed a place to stay. Chrissie and the Randall?s whom now considered themselves a family discussed taking the girl in. They agreed to do so, but what Mrs. Dotson didn?t tell them was that the young girl all of 14 years of age was six months pregnant. Around 7:00 the next evening just after dinner, the doorbell rang. It was Mrs. Dotson standing at her side was a young girl with wild black hair and a protruding belly.
Mary was a young for 14 she had the mindset of a 12- year old. For instance, she already named the baby Barbie if the child was a girl and Ken if it were a boy. The father of Mary?s baby, Bobby King was nineteen. Mary and Bobby like Chrissie were displaced kids; both of their parents drug addicts where in jail. The way Mary came under the care of Social Services, that an anonymous caller reported that a young girl and a teenage boy where living in an abandoned apartment building. When social services arrived at abandoned building, Bobby ran off. He?d left Mary alone. Mrs. Dotson, informed Mrs. Randall that Mary?s pregnancy was high risk; the doctor diagnosed Mary with diabetes, and high blood pressure. Mary was in trouble, but she was so simple minded that it all seem like a game to her.
Mary while living with the Randall?s revealed some interesting facts to Chrissie. For instance, Mary was afraid to sleep alone. She now shared a room with Chrissie. Mary now in her eighth month wanted to talk one night. ?Chrissie are you asleep,? Mary asked.
?No I?m not asleep, Mary.?
?Chrissie I?m scared. I don?t want this baby. She cried. ?I tried to get rid of it, but the clinic said I had to have my mother?s signature in order for me to get an abortion. After that, I didn?t know what to do. Bobby and I decided that as soon as they take this thing out of me, I?m leaving the hospital without it. I?m going to run away. Bobby and I have a secret place, he?s waiting for me, and as soon as I have the baby, we are running away to California.
?Bobby doesn?t want the baby?? Chrissie inquired of Mary.
?No he doesn?t like kids. He grew up in a house full of them he said he couldn?t stand all that crying. I know it sounds awful of me leaving the baby behind, Chrissie, but I?m not ready to be a mommy and Bobby loves me and I love him and I just want to be happy.
?Well if you don?t want the baby Mary, Chrissie said, tell Mrs. Dotson that you would like Mrs. Randall and Lawrence to keep the baby. They don?t have children.
?Really, Mary said with enthusiasm. ?Mrs. Randall is a nice lady she?ll make a good mommy. I?ll do that Chrissie, but promise me you won?t tell anyone about my plan to run away.
?I promise Mary, but I want you to promise me, that when you are on your own again, that you will go the clinic and get the insulin that you need. If you don?t do that Mary you will die.?
?I promise Chrissie, thank you.
On February 28 Mary?s baby born, he was six pounds four ounces, and 19 inches long. He was healthy, and happy. Mary had a rough time of it, but she was able to push the baby out. Her sugar levels where high and she was very weak, the doctor said she was keeping Mary for observation. Two days later Mary snuck out of the hospital. She left behind a letter.
Dear Mrs. Dotson,
She scrawled. I am leaving the hospital. I?m leaving baby Chris behind, cause I ain?t gonna make a good mother. I?m still a kid myself, and I am afraid that I might hurt the baby, and I don?t want to hurt no one like my mother hurt me. She shouldn?t have had kids either. Please see that Mrs. Randall gets my baby, she?ll be good to Chris. She likes kids, and she has a good heart. I know Mrs. Randall is old, but Chrissie will help her take care of the baby. I want Chrissie to be the aunt; she talked to the baby, all the time while it was in my belly. It was signed
Mary
It took a year for the adoption to go through, but Mrs. Randall and Lawrence finally had a family. Not only did Mrs. Randall adopt baby Christopher, but she adopted 18-year-old Chrissie too. Chrissie was so happy, she had what she always wanted, a family who loved her and wanted her. She even had a little brother. Life, Chrissie often said to her friends whenever they complained abut there lives is worth the price of the trip.
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